Hey Capt’n Hook:
This is your wife.....
It took us forever to get to the coast. The girls needed matching outfits, special hair stuff, only certain foods for lunch and, of course, a Starbucks stop. It was almost lunch before we actually got on the boat.
The boat is huge! It is so much bigger than I thought it would be. I had just stepped on when Marc – sorry - “Captain Hook” told me what to grab in case of emergency; which buttons to push; which station to use for the emergency radio; the first aid kit; and which bags to inflate in case he was incapacitated. The first thing he showed me was all the emergency rules. Remember, it's just me and two twelve-year old girls. The emergency instructions are taped to the dash:
We get a few miles out, "Steer the boat" he says. You gotta be kidding me. Thankfully, Delaney says she can do it.
He then tries to show me how to fix “inriggers” or “outriggers” or whatever all that nonsense is on the back of the boat.
Since I won't drive the boat I, apparently, have to do all the bits with the poles. I don't really fish either, btw. He taught me early in our marriage how to put a shrimp on a hook and cast my little line on my little pole into the water. I never progressed from there and -I'm okay with that! He's telling me to listen for the “zing” of the line so then I can set it, pull it in, pay out the line etc. "And you can help the girls do theirs too," he assures me. You gotta be kidding me.
About this time Delaney’s friend get seasick and is puking over the side. I view this as a sign from God that we should go back. But the little girl rallies and the Captain is determined we should continue to troll and catch something. Little does he know I'm frantically bargaining with God not to catch anything and nor for the Captain to become incapacitated. Thankfully, she pukes again and he makes the decision to go in. Whew, after three hours of getting out to the coast and 30 minutes of actually fishing - we return safely to the dock.
But NOOOO - the drama doesn't end there. Marc disappears somewhere and the “water police” hook onto the boat (at the dock) and start asking all these questions. I keep telling them, "I know nothing about anything on this boat" but they refuse to leave. I figure that sounds suspicious as heck and I’m pretty sure they are going to impound this new boat.
So my lesson of the day was.....Never step on the boat again unless there are several other people already on it (i.e. Gene, Sam, Mike, Ryan) who know way more about boats than I do. My next boat ride - I will be sitting in the co-pilots seat with a good book.
I just read your “smiling” post; I know your blog login credentials, so I feel compelled to give my view/perspective to your followers. Here goes:
I kinda wanted to step back out. You have to understand, I know NOTHING about boats – nor about anything electronic. I can't even turn on our TV at home – no really, I can’t. The electronics console looks like an airplane dashboard:
Marc finally returns.
You gotta be kidding me! Who would have guessed they were just there to harass Capt’n Hook because they knew him!The next "fish I catch" will be at Mad Anthony's restaurant, preferably grilled, and with a chilled glass of wine.